I met the man that I now plan to spend the rest of my life with ten years ago, and now we are only days away from saying "I do." As we get closer to the date, more and more people strike up the conversation about the faith of my last name. I have received mixed emotions from people when I tell them that
I am keeping my last name.
I have been met with people who encourage it, people who find breaking the norm to be too scandalous, and some who are surprised Joe is "letting" me keep my last name.
It surprised me how many people found it strange for me to want to keep the name I have carried around my entire life.
The history of the last name exchange dates back to the time when women had to take their husbands' last names because, at that time, men owned their wives. It is a historic tradition I don't feel the need to follow.
To clarify, I do not disagree with women who change their last names when married. Just as it is my choice to want to keep mine, it is their choice to want to change theirs.
There is also the other wonderful option of hyphenating. It is something Joe and I have also spoken about but have yet to come to a final decision. Either way, there is no legal obligation to change your name at the time of your wedding. No matter what, you will still be married.
For me, it does not seem fair that I will lose ties to my family name, while my husband can keep his. I am the last generation that I know of to carry my surname. After my sister and I, our family name (through the bloodline of my grandparents) dies out. That is something I am not emotionally ready to let go of.
Besides the paperwork, published work, and career, my last name feels true to me and who I am. Taking on another last name does not feel right in my heart.
While I do not think less of any woman who does take her husband's name, I personally just want to keep my own identity. I love my husband-to-be and I will refer to us as "Mr. and Mrs. MacGregor-Centineo." However, legally, I will still be me.
