It has been a while since I wrote a blog but that was because I did not think there was much of an update. Until today, I thought everything was going great! My stomach has not felt heavy or bloated, I have very minimal food allergy reactions, haven't been sick when I woke up, and I have lost a total of 12 pounds since diagnosed. Things have been going great with not only this but at work and in school.
Today, one of my bosses told me something very important and that was to not focus on what is going wrong but to focus on all that has been going right. To remember what I have done to get where I am now, and only focus on what is right in front of me. These words are in which why I started off this blog with only the great news first.
Now here comes the bad news…
I had my third visit today. I walked into that appointment very positive and hopeful, only to leave crushed and emotional. I found out my immune system is not doing good. It is attacking me worse than when this all started. All the sneezing and blowing my nose I go through is not just allergies but the result of my immune system growing even weak.
At the moment, I have a terrible bacteria virus inside me that is attacking just as much as the yeast build-up is. My body is currently welcoming in bad organisms, and instead of fighting them off, is letting them roam around my body and wreak havoc.
This news resulted in not being able to get a good reading on my vitamin intact and not being able to get anything back into my diet.
It was definitely a hit in the [leaky] gut for me this morning. You'd think I would be used to this by now, though; that whenever I think it is something small, a boulder of terrible news comes about and tumbles me. "Its just rashes" to "She is allergic to a lot of food”…”It is just headaches from stress" to "She has a tumor in her skull"..."Its just asthma" to "Actually, her spine is growing into her lungs and crushing them”. I went through life finding out my small mishaps are actually something bigger.
I realize now, after foolishly crying all afternoon, that this is just a minor set back, and that, like the rest, and like this journey I am currently on, I will get through it.